(no subject)

[moseyin]

[It happens in the middle of nowhere.

Just another nondescript hole Zack's found to curl them up into. Sometimes they're lucky enough to get a bed in the slums somewhere, the outskirts of some crappy little village or the deep, dank alleyways of a larger city. Most of the time they have a tent, if they're lucky, if Zack manages and money allows, and sometimes they're not lucky and they forfeit shelter for food, for potions for when Zack gets a wound that grit and gumption can't close.

Well- Zack does all of these things. They're a 'they' in bodycount only.

It's Zack dragging himself and Cloud across the countryside, it's Zack finding them shelter, finding them food, tearing into monsters to scrape together enough gil to keep them alive. It's Zack looking after the few wounds Cloud acquires during their journey, it's Zack who talks to him, who feeds him, who carries him on his god damn back for days and days and days on end. Weeks. Months.

Cloud isn't often awake, but sometimes he is. Things are hazy like a dream, sloppy like slumber, slips and strips of memory, of experiences that barely thread together to make something patchwork. And that's how it is when it happens too, because it was only a couple times, fighting to break the surface of a pool of tar. He emerges not with a gasp but an awareness, only for a few moments before he's pulled under. Each time Zack was gone, or asleep, clutching Cloud to his chest for protection but too exhausted to hear his breathless whispers of Zack, Zack as Cloud tries desperately to rouse him, if only to reassure him of I'm here, I hear you, I see you, you're not alone until the mako curls around and into him and pulls him back under.

And then, that middle of nowhere.

Cloud wakes to the sun on his face; weak morning sun, wobbly, not yet hot. They'd slept outside. Zack is already awake, humming to himself, murmuring something, fiddling with a fire. He's going to make a hot breakfast for them. A luxury.

Cloud waits those few minutes, tense and unnerved, waiting for the coils of mako to pull him back under. His limbs still feel weak but something is...different this time. Things feel sharper. He can hear things more than Zack this time, more than the beat of his heart and the hush of his breath; he can hear the crackle of the fire, the chirp of far off birdsong. Cloud can feel the humidity clinging to his skin, sticking his clothes to his chest and back. He can smell the outdoors around them.

He is present. At last, he is.

Zack's turning around towards him, probably to collect him and bring him closer to the fire, to feed him again and once Zack reaches for him, once Cloud is sure he'll see he reaches, just barely, and closes a hand around Zack's wrist.] Zack.

Comments

[wingenvy]

[Yesterday was a pretty good day- not even for just what counts as "great" for them and this hellish road trip they're on, but really good. There'd been no threat too big that he couldn't handle alone, the weather had been beautiful and clear, he'd found a river for them both to have a proper bath for the first time in at least two weeks, and following it had led them not only to a nest of animals that looked suitable for eating but this old, abandoned campsite. No tent, but with no raincloud in sight Zack felt confident that they could enjoy a night sleeping out under the stars. He'd set up a perimeter, hung out the meat to dry, and fallen asleep stargazing with Cloud curled up against his side for warmth. Yeah, a good day.

Today's not shaping up too badly, either. In his scouring of the campsite he'd found a pan, left abandoned for a long while but relatively clean and unrusted- nothing a bit of the water can't fix, or a bit of mako enhancement can't tolerate. They get cooked meat for once, fresh and tasty.

He might have missed Cloud's voice if it hadn't come hand in hand with the grip. Cloud's touched him before, that blind sort of flailing of limbs when something triggered a response in him, but it was never coherent and Zack could never figure out how to make it happen. He'd tried talking, physical contact, proximity, planting Cloud in front of things to try and prod his brain- the cutest one had been when he'd found that group of wild chocobos, Cloud had gotten a face full of flailing chick feathers when he'd grabbed for the fluff. They'd had a whole three seconds worth of adorable before he'd had to grab Cloud and hightail it out of there when the mother came charging at them.

This hold was different. It was tight and firm, like the grip one has on a weapon or a real solid handshake. Cloud doesn't hold things like that anymore, he never has the focus for it. It's jarring enough that Zack shifts his gaze to Cloud's eyes instead of offering up the usual "hey, buddy, c'mon, up we go" when Cloud mumbles his name. (He used to react more, in the early days. Before he knew the depth of Cloud's poison, before he realized the situation they were in, before he realized how ill-equipped he is to fix this.)

He finds a far more clear-eyed stare than he'd expected. Cloud hasn't looked like that since...]

...Cloud?

[The hesitance in his voice is telling. It's hard to hope; most days he doesn't dare. He's never given up on Cloud, always believed that recovery was possible, but he's surrendered the idea that it would go away on its own time. Surely it would never be this miraculous.]

[moseyin]

[Good- gods, yes, good, Zack saw him, he noticed, now all he has to do is tell him, all he has to do is say that he's awake, but his throat is already closing up and his vision is already blurring-

A tear rolls down his cheek.

Zack.

Zack rescued him.

The memories of the lab are acid green and painful and still fuzzy enough to ignore. The memories of the reactor- not so much. But he's through that agony and Zack, Zack's carried him on his back for who knows how long, has fed him, protected him. Zack who couldn't have seen him as anything much more than an acquaintance, maybe a distant friend- they hardly ever spoke before- Zack got wrapped up in all this-]

-m'awake, [Cloud croaks, still holding onto Zack's wrist, gripping like if he lets go he'll sink back under. Hell, maybe he will. The next breath he takes is shuddering and that just makes the tears come faster and hotter because it's different, because it's new, because he can actually feel his body doing it. Everything inside of him is his again, everything in front of him is Zack, Zack, Zack.] I'm...awake- Zack-

[wingenvy]

[Every movement, every gesture, every syllable helps the information sink in- a confirmation that this isn't some sort of fluke, it isn't a moment of clarity here and gone again. It's- this is- he's finally-]

You're awake, [is his whispered echo, as he closes the last bit of distance between them to wrap his free arm around Cloud's slim, weakened body, drawing him close for a hug. Or perhaps not so weak anymore- with Cloud conscious he can feel the taut, mako-enhanced muscles underneath the frumpy SOLDIER uniform, the firm flex of fingers around his wrist. He's still wan and malnourished - neither of them are in top shape, and Zack's done his best but sometimes Cloud just doesn't eat - but his limp body had always made him seem more frail than he actually is.

This... this is Cloud again, not just a vacant body with his face, a home awaiting the return of its owner. He's back.]

...You're awake, [He says it again, like it becomes more real each time it's spoken aloud. All this waiting and worrying and he's finally, finally--]

[moseyin]

Thank you, [Cloud gasps out, finally something more than a whisper, finally something Zack can hear as Zack wraps around him, as Cloud tries to raise his arms in return. He doesn't get far, only manages to grab onto the hem of Zack's shirt but he clutches with all the strength he has in him.] Oh god- you s-...saved me- from that-

Zack, thank you, thank you, thank you-! [This can't be a dream. Please, don't let this be a dream. The one thing he'd been wanted to do the most, more than reassure Zack, more than feed himself, speak his mind-

What he'd needed most.

To thank Zack. For getting him out of that place.]

[wingenvy]

Easy, easy-

[Zack hugs him tighter, hefting him upright. His hand wanders- his shoulder, his arm, his back, his hair- checking Cloud over, making sure he's okay, that nothing's wrong. He needs to be certain that this is nothing, nothing but good.]

It's okay. It's okay, Cloud. I wasn't gonna leave you behind, not ever.

[He pulls back a little, just enough so he can look Cloud in the eyes. God, it's so good to see someone looking back at him, after so long.]

Not ever, you hear me? No matter what.

[moseyin]

[Somehow Cloud manages to get an arm up and around Zack's shoulders, so he buries a hand in his hair, holds onto him as tight as he can. It can't be much, he feels weak as a kitten, but even though his limbs feel like his again they don't feel the same. He doesn't know what he is now.]

I- I hear you. I- [He can't.

Cloud lets his head fall forward against Zack's shoulder.] Are y- you okay? Are you-...?

[wingenvy]

[Zack laughs, somewhat helplessly, breath hot against Cloud's shoulder as he drops his head down to rest there.]

I'm okay. I'm- I'm great. Today's the best day I've had all year! Cloud, this is awesome!

[It's weird- surreal, getting to talk to someone, a real conversation. Cloud can hear him, understand the words he says, offer up a real response. It's been so long since he's been able to have something so simple as that.

He's over the goddamned moon.]

[moseyin]

[Cloud's hand slides to the back of Zack's neck and he holds him there, against his shoulder, limbs feeling so weak and unsure that he's trembling but unable to let him go. It's too good to be true. He still feels half asleep.]

Zack, [is all Cloud can say, but after a moment he finally rouses himself, clutches at Zack's shoulders as he tries to get his feet beneath him.] I'm...help- help me up... [He has to stand, right now, under his own power. That's the only way this is going to feel real.]

[wingenvy]

Okay- easy, easy, take it slow.

[Zack shifts his grip to Cloud's waist, one hand hefting him up under the shoulder, the other gripping a suspender side and pulling as he stands upright himself. He sticks close to make sure Cloud can stand up and steady; it's been so long that he might not feel great, might not even be able to walk yet, but... Zack gets what he's trying to do, or at least he thinks he does. Whether Cloud remembers everything or not, he obviously remembers enough. Anybody would want to get back a bit of independence after being lost in the dark for so long.]

Doin' good?

[moseyin]

[Not at all. His knees are shaking, his legs feel like they can't barely hold his weight. He's hanging off of Zack like a bedsheet strung up to dry in the breeze. His hands are losing their grip on Zack's armor.

But he's standing. Because he wanted to.]

I'm- [Cloud's throat closes up on him, leaning more heavily on Zack before he starts to slide to the ground but Zack- Zack will catch him. And then he can try again, gather his strength and try to push himself back up. He can try as many times as he wants.]

[wingenvy]

[Zack lets him try a couple of times, and he does catch him each time, but finally he stops, setting a hand on Cloud's shoulder to try and hold him in place.]

Cloud- Cloud, hey. I know you wanna hit the ground running, but you've been in bad shape for a long time. Sit down, we'll get some food in you, and we're gonna work on getting your legs strong again together. Deal?

[Much as he'd love to stand here and try this all day with Cloud - he would do fucking anything for Cloud at this point, and he wants to make sure this state of mind stays - they're still on the run, and the Turks are never far behind them. They don't have a lot of time to waste until they find a safer place to crash.]

[moseyin]

[Right. Right,] -right, [Cloud agrees, and though he doesn't want to he sinks to the ground as Zack helps him sit. Right. Now that he's up, now that he's awake, he has to do what he can to help Zack. He can't let himself be a burden, not again, he can't. First order of business is to eat and get stronger.

But first-] Zack, [Cloud says, grabbing onto Zack's arm as he pulls away back to the fire to rescue their probably-burning breakfast,] Zack, you- you got me out. I- [I'll do anything for you.] I owe you everything. My whole life.

[wingenvy]

[Zack stares at him for a long moment, stunned, then huffs quietly and scuffs his hair, tugging himself free to go poke at the fire.]

Shut up, don't say that. I'd have to be a complete monster to leave you there. You're not, like, indebted to me or anything.

[moseyin]

Shit, [Cloud grouses, and passes the binoculars back over to Zack.

They're both lying belly-down on a muddy outcrop, buried in obnoxiously thick undergrowth and sharing a pair of binoculars between them in an effort to see through the late afternoon drizzle only to spot-] You're totally right. Looks like Turk detail.

[Turks rarely travel with infantry, but sure enough there are two troopers guarding the nearest pathway into the jungle surrounding Gongaga, flare guns slung on their belts. They're not there to stop anybody, just to alert the Turks if their quarry is spotted.

And he and Zack had discussed it, too. We're not doing it if the Turks are there. Too risky.

But now they're here and Cloud can feel the anger and frustration that's all too near the surface these days starting to bubble up. They're so close. They're so close to giving Zack's parents a piece of mind, to getting a decent weapon for Cloud. And to just turn around and leave would be a waste of nearly a week's worth of travel.

Cloud glances at Zack out of the corner of his eye.]

[zacrifice]

[Zack's body language is tense, his fingers tight around the binoculars- enough to make the metal creak, but not quite enough to break, and the warning gets him to put them down when he's satisfied with his first look. He huffs a frustrated breath and ducks down again, keeping carefully out of sight.]

Okay... that rules out going in there guns blazing. [So to speak, anyway. That was never really in the cards.] I know a couple ways we could sneak in, but it's risky. We get caught when you're still unarmed, we could be screwed.

[They could still leave, find the next destination and hope for better options. That carries its own risk, too. And this had kind of been their best shot.]

[moseyin]

[Cloud scowls as he chews on this thumbnail, though the edges are already all bitten down. Zack is still by far the better strategist; he knows how to examine the risks, examine the payoff and how to determine if something is worth going for. If Zack says it's risky, then it's GOD damned risky.

Cloud- well, he's got little more than mako blood and a metric ton of stubbornness.]

So...then what if we split up?

[Cloud points over around the south end of the jungle.] I'll cause a ruckus over there and you can sneak in, see your folks, grab a blade and get back out.

If they get close to finding me, the pond is right there. I can hold my breath really long now. [They both can, thanks to the tanks; a kind of macabre game they'd play when they were shoved back in, before Cloud lost himself. Who can hold his breath the longest? Taking the mako back into their lungs was just as bad as when that had to expel it, after all.]

[zacrifice]

[There's no hiding the immediate grimace that suggestion nets him from Zack.]

They can still shoot through water, Spike. Turks might want to take us back alive, but it doesn't have to be in one piece. And what if they circle around you somehow? Without a weapon you'd be screwed.

[Nothing against Cloud- he's durable and a spitfire, he'd gone head to head with Sephiroth and lived to tell the tale, that counts for a lot. With the mako enhancements, for better or worse, he's even stronger now. But if Zack's worried about taking the Turks on solo, no way is Cloud ready for it. Especially not while he lacks a decent sword.]

If we go, we should go together.

[moseyin]

[Cloud opens his mouth angrily to argue -that Zack can't afford to worry about him, that Zack deserves to see his family, that they can't play it safe forever-

When something occurs to him. And a contemplative (and slightly giddy) look crosses his face.]

Zack, remember...remember when we were talking about our homes, and you were trying to convince me that 'Touch Me's were real?

[zacrifice]

[Zack pauses, as his brain follows the through-line from one topic to another.]

...Uh-huh. Bet the Turks don't think they're real, either.

[moseyin]

They will literally never see us coming. [Shoves binoculars into their bag and starts scooting backwards out of the brush. They will go together, as frogs. Perfect.]

[zacrifice]

I love this plan. Genius on all levels. Downside: you realize now I gotta teach you how to catch a Touch Me?

[Which means they are absolutely going to become frogs at least three times today before they plan to, because those things are assholes.]

[moseyin]

[unslings the bag from his shoulder once they're out of the brush to search for a place to stash it] What's there to teach? It's just a frog so you grab it, right? [oh buddy]

[zacrifice]

[OH BUDDY

Zack does his best to mask his expression, tightening his boots and adjusting his gloves. Hopefully it'll be enough to just avoid skin-to-skin contact, but you really never know with those asshole frogs.]

Sure, why don't you try that?

[He would really like to watch you try that.]

[moseyin]

[It does not go as planned.]

God damn frogs-! [Cloud whisper-screams when he's bitchslapped back to human form just after being a frog for the third time. Getting the bastards to turn him into a frog isn't the issue, but staying that way is a feat when the stupid little things call their buddies over and smack him around repeatedly.

And despite the abject danger they are undoubtedly in, Zack doubling over in a effort to stifle his guffaws at Cloud's irritation just makes his face burn. How hard could it be, really. He just had to ask.]

Get that smug look off your face, Fair, help me catch one of these little shits!

[zacrifice]

[Zack, who has lived through this so many times that he knows to heft his ass up a tree where the frogs can't reach, is losing his shit, trying not fall out. (Again.)]

Nah, nah, you're doing great...! Oh man. [He's crying a little. It hurts, laughing this much.] You almost had it that time.