(no subject)

[moseyin]

[It happens in the middle of nowhere.

Just another nondescript hole Zack's found to curl them up into. Sometimes they're lucky enough to get a bed in the slums somewhere, the outskirts of some crappy little village or the deep, dank alleyways of a larger city. Most of the time they have a tent, if they're lucky, if Zack manages and money allows, and sometimes they're not lucky and they forfeit shelter for food, for potions for when Zack gets a wound that grit and gumption can't close.

Well- Zack does all of these things. They're a 'they' in bodycount only.

It's Zack dragging himself and Cloud across the countryside, it's Zack finding them shelter, finding them food, tearing into monsters to scrape together enough gil to keep them alive. It's Zack looking after the few wounds Cloud acquires during their journey, it's Zack who talks to him, who feeds him, who carries him on his god damn back for days and days and days on end. Weeks. Months.

Cloud isn't often awake, but sometimes he is. Things are hazy like a dream, sloppy like slumber, slips and strips of memory, of experiences that barely thread together to make something patchwork. And that's how it is when it happens too, because it was only a couple times, fighting to break the surface of a pool of tar. He emerges not with a gasp but an awareness, only for a few moments before he's pulled under. Each time Zack was gone, or asleep, clutching Cloud to his chest for protection but too exhausted to hear his breathless whispers of Zack, Zack as Cloud tries desperately to rouse him, if only to reassure him of I'm here, I hear you, I see you, you're not alone until the mako curls around and into him and pulls him back under.

And then, that middle of nowhere.

Cloud wakes to the sun on his face; weak morning sun, wobbly, not yet hot. They'd slept outside. Zack is already awake, humming to himself, murmuring something, fiddling with a fire. He's going to make a hot breakfast for them. A luxury.

Cloud waits those few minutes, tense and unnerved, waiting for the coils of mako to pull him back under. His limbs still feel weak but something is...different this time. Things feel sharper. He can hear things more than Zack this time, more than the beat of his heart and the hush of his breath; he can hear the crackle of the fire, the chirp of far off birdsong. Cloud can feel the humidity clinging to his skin, sticking his clothes to his chest and back. He can smell the outdoors around them.

He is present. At last, he is.

Zack's turning around towards him, probably to collect him and bring him closer to the fire, to feed him again and once Zack reaches for him, once Cloud is sure he'll see he reaches, just barely, and closes a hand around Zack's wrist.] Zack.

Comments

[moseyin]

Uh...yeah, I can. [Where is Zack going with this? Cloud can't help but hold the can like it's glass, probably way too gently and on the verge of dropping it if not for Zack's hand holding his in place.] Zack, what're you doin'...?

[wingenvy]

I'm trying to give you a damn beer, you doofus. We deserve a drink.

[There's the sound of a popping tab, the fizz of escaping air from the can, and then Zack guides Cloud's hand closer to his body until metal touches his lips.]

Hold it like this, and you're golden.

[moseyin]

[Zack's fingers slip from around Cloud's and he holds the can -gently- as he takes a sip. A gulp.]

...this tastes like shit, [Cloud proclaims as he takes another drink, giddily. It's annoying, having to concentrate like this, but he'll get used to it. And- and for how much he hates Hojo, for how much he hates the labs, what was done to them both- for all the times he still finds himself drifting, hearing things, Cloud has to admit that finally having the strength to keep this from ever happening again is one of the very few comforts to draw from the past five years.

Zack being the other.]

[wingenvy]

[Zack laughs again. It's getting so easy to laugh these days, the more and more that they're able to talk to each other properly. It feels like it's been ages since he's felt this free, even after breaking out of the lab.]

Wait until we get to Midgar, man. We can't afford the good stuff until we start making real money.

[moseyin]

[Mmmmm yeah about that

Cloud lowers the can, fingertip fiddling with the tab.] Zack...is it really a good idea to go to Midgar?

[wingenvy]

A good idea? No, not by a long shot. It's probably the worst place we could go, at this point.

[Zack's smile softens, stepping away to prop the Buster back against its spot near bike - within easy reach - running his hand over the engravings on the hilt.]

I have to go back, though. I made a promise to someone.

[moseyin]

[Well, at least Zack knows how bad an idea it is. It's not as if Cloud has anything to lose, so-] Okay. Guess I'll have to protect you, then.

[wingenvy]

You don't have to, y'know. I was dragging you all over because I didn't want anybody to find you when you couldn't protect yourself... but you're awake now, and you're strong enough- you can go wherever you want. Don't feel indebted to me or anything.

[Far be it for him to assume what Cloud wants or needs- and he'd be a shitty friend if he forced Cloud to dive right back into the danger of facing Shinra head-on.]

[moseyin]

Don't be stupid. [Takes another sip of beer.] I'm gonna protect you because I care about you.

[wingenvy]

[Heh. Zack smiles again, small at first before it swiftly changes to a proper grin. It's not exactly a surprise, but it's still a relief to hear. He's been running solo without any sort of support system for months, and the thought of being able to rest with someone to watch his back is just... it's huge. It's too to not feel incredibly moved by Cloud's statement.]

...Well, okay. If you feel that strongly about it.

[moseyin]

Yup. [Finishes beer, crushes the can, tosses it toward the garbage.] But we're gonna hafta get me a weapon. And you'll have to give me lessons.

[wingenvy]

Yeah... geez. Second part's easy enough, we can use the Buster during downtime until we get something else. That's the real trick, though. Huh...

[He scoots over and fishes around in the supply bag, retrieving the road map he'd pilfered along the way. He follows the road for a while down, down, down-

...hm.]

We've got a couple of options. We can double-back and head for Cosmo- we might cut it pretty close on gas and the road would be rough, but it could shake Shinra off our asses for a while if we go the wrong direction. Or we could head straight east, there's supposed to be some old hick who collects and sells rare weapons by the coast. We'd end up in a tight spot with not many places to run if Shinra caught up there, but we could find something cool, too. Last...

[He turns the map to show Cloud, tapping against a little dot in the south. He's trying to sound neutral, because it is such a bad idea, but he's also... kind of excited about the prospect? Shit.]

Gongaga. I know a guy who makes some seriously epic blades there. Downside is Shinra will definitely expect us to head towards it.

[moseyin]

[Cloud follows Zack's finger, eyes sharp as he rubs at his chin and listens to their options. The old guy is probably right out; if he makes and sells rare shit then he's either going to want to trade for rare shit or he's gonna want a buttload of money. They don't have either right now.

Cosmo might be a good idea...but it really is way, way out of the way if they're trying to go to Midgar. Funds aren't much of a problem since they can scrape together what they need from killing monsters but that long a trek without a single weapon for Cloud? Might put a lot of unnecessary burden on Zack.

But then there's Gongaga. Yeah it's close, yeah it'll have good weapons...but there will absolutely be a Shinra presence. Maybe even Turks.]

They'll be expecting you, [Cloud says slowly, tapping his chin,] and a comatose little trooper.

[wingenvy]

...That... is very true.

[And a damn good point, besides, and Zack is immediately a slice more positive about their prospects. So they just have to get in, get armed, get out, before-

-oh. oh god. His brows furrow again.]

If they keep sending the Turks, we can manage, because they'll want to keep what they're doing hidden under the rug. If it's the army, though... they won't care about collateral. We'll have to be careful.

[He wouldn't put it past Shinra to use his parents against him or even raze the whole city if they thought it would get them what they want. All you have to do is look at what happened to Nibelheim- rebuilt to perfection with the truth buried, all to protect the honour of their precious SOLDIER legacy.]

[moseyin]

Moving around troops is obvious; if the army's there, we'll notice the signs way before we hit their camp. [Cloud should know, he'd suffered on those crappy transport trucks with twenty to fifty other grunts all in a line himself. If there's anybody who can spot a platoon from ten miles out, it's another trooper.]

Gongaga it is. We should turn in, get started early.

[wingenvy]

Gongaga it is, [is his quieter echo, voice carrying a lilt of nervous excitement. Gongaga. They're going to Gongaga. Is everyone okay? His parents? Neighbours? The shopkeepers he used to run errands for? That stray dog everyone just collectively decided to feed?

Shit, it's been almost ten years, hasn't it.]

...We'll start training during breaks tomorrow, too, so you can be ready for any trouble. The Turks are no pushovers.

[moseyin]

Good. [VERY good. Finally, something Cloud can do to help. He's walking fine, talking....mostly fine, on average, and he's ready to kick some ass and start venting all this bubbling, seething anger he feels every fucking day he sees that haunted look in Zack's eyes. Every time he gets a flash of acid green when he goes to sleep and startles back awake, heart pounding.

Yeah, a little maiming and mayhem might help with that.

Cloud glances up and catches the look on Zack's face as he peers down at the map, that painfully hopeful expression, and he reaches up on instinct to hook a hand at the back of Zack's neck, squeezing lightly.] We're gonna make it fine. You can tell everybody you're okay.

[wingenvy]

[The sudden touch is a surprise, but not one that's unwelcome in any way, and it only takes a moment for Zack to smile and reach up to rest his hand against Cloud's arm, half to support him in return, half to just... hold him there. To indulge in that human contact they've both surely been missing for a long time now.

It's subtle, but something in his shoulders, in his posture, shifts. Relaxes, as if a bit of the weight's been lifted, replaced by the weight of Cloud's hand.]

Right... hey, you can meet my mom this time.

[moseyin]

[Cloud falters. He's done...zero dealing with all of that. The labs aside, Sephiroth aside-

His hand doesn't move from Zack's neck but he goes still, head down as he wonders things he probably shouldn't. Was it quick? Did it hurt? Did she think of me? Did she even know what was going on?]

...Zack, [Cloud says lowly, thumb brushing softly against his skin, his own new mako eyes glowing softly in the shadows of the night,] after we get you back to Aerith, I'm gonna hafta leave for a little while.

[wingenvy]

[The statement is entirely unexpected- as is the sudden, irrepressible panic he feels at that particular combination of words. Zack looks sharply over at Cloud, eyes startled wild.]

What? Why?

[Was it the mom comment? Shit, that was insensitive, wasn't it. He hadn't even thought of it, but Cloud had lost everyone in Nibelheim, and here Zack's going on and on about seeing his family and girlfriend again- god, what an ass he's being.]

[moseyin]

[Okay well he was gonna step away from him but not after seeing that look on his face. His grip on the back of Zack's neck tightens just a little bit, just enough to be a sure, steady weight. Maybe he steps a little closer.]

Hojo's gotta pay. Maybe all the ShinRa brass. I don't know how I'm gonna do it, but- but after what they let happen, after what they did to me and my mom? I gotta take 'em out somehow, Zack.

[And he's not going to ask Zack to do that with him. Zack might want it too maybe, revenge, or maybe Zack just wants to grab Aerith and get as far away from this continent as possible; Cloud wouldn't blame him for it. He deserves some happiness.

Cloud's just not sure that's in the cards for him anymore. Not that long-term kind, with the girl and the kids and the career. Cloud's sure he'll crash and burn at some point, he just wants to take the entire fucking ShinRa tower down with him when he goes.]

[wingenvy]

[Zack's quiet for a moment, brows furrowed; he's not surprised, but it's not quite what he expected, either.]

I... I mean, that's fine, if it's what you wanna do.

[Cloud's not wrong- they do need to be stopped with what they're doing. They've hurt too many people at this point, ruined so many lives- not just theirs, but the people of Nibelheim, Banora, hell even Wutai's been pushed too far, even for an enemy nation. They'd created monsters, over and over, never learning from the mistakes they've made in the past. The trio of old guard that betrayed and abandoned ShinRa only showed them what the power of Jenova could accomplish- and he and Cloud are living proof that they've just carried on where they'd stopped before, pumping chemicals and the cells of some dead alien into people to try and build the next generation. And Zack? He'd stood by and let it all happen for far too long already. Big dreams of becoming a hero, but he'd worked for the villain for years. Going against them had been far too easy- it just took them going against him first. Truth be told, it's a source of unspoken shame.

Going against ShinRa ain't the problem at this point.]

...You don't want me to come along?

[moseyin]

[It's a suicide mission, of course I don't, Cloud doesn't say.] What about your girl?

[wingenvy]

...Cloud...

[Zack offers up a faint smile, carrying with it an ache that runs old and deep.]

It's been years. We both know that, even if we don't know exactly how many. I don't know if she's my anything anymore. I don't know what'll happen when- if I find her there.

[That isn't the point of his going back; he doesn't expect to show up out of the blue and see her waiting for him, same as ever. She's beautiful, smart, witty, kind. She's a dream and the best girlfriend a guy could've hoped for.

She deserves better than a broken promise and the lonely life of waiting for a soldier who might never come home.]

I just... need to see her again. I promised I'd come back. After that, I dunno, but do you really think I can just settle down somewhere and live peacefully?

[moseyin]

If there's anybody on this shitty Planet who deserves to, it's you, [Cloud insists firmly, sliding closer so his arm goes around Zack's shoulders instead. Get down here, don't look so sad.]