(no subject)

[monolike]

[The first thing Sorey thinks as he falls is what Lailah said as they left Camlann; that without his domain, all of them would instantly be hellions. The ground collapses beneath his feet, the wind drake behind him snaps up his cloak in its jaws and he sees the terror on Mikleo's face just before Symonne's laughter shrieks out and he and the drake fall together.

If they're too far away from me-

He can still feel their connection. He can still feel them, even if they can't go to him, and Sorey prays that's enough.

Wind rushes past them and Sorey tries to wrench out of the drake's grip (It's gotta be a wind seraph, Zaveid had shouted as they were thrown into the thick of battle in the tight corridors of the fortress), twisting and turning, sword in his hand. They'd weakened the drake considerably as a team but he's not sure he's powerful enough on his own to purify it, not even with all the strength he's gathered. Not without the others.

Hopefully, because Rose is there, they'll be okay. Please, please, I can't lose anyone else-

They fall far but hit a collapsed spire at an angle; in the mess the drake releases Sorey (or maybe his cloak tears, he can't tell) and he tumbles, bumps against it and hits the ground hard enough to rattle his teeth in his head and jar his bones. He pushes himself up, ignoring the bruises and aches, the constant, thumping worry of his heart and puts his sword between he and the drake as it sways up to its feet.]

Don't worry, [he promises the poor thing, because thank god, thank god it's not a dragon yet. There's still hope.] I'm going to save you. Don't worry, it'll be over soon.

Comments

[monolike]

[For all his book smarts, Sorey is a creature of compulsion. So t makes total sense for him to turn suddenly, grab for Dezel's coat lapels and pull him into a hasty misaligned kiss. He misses his mouth because he didn't check first, and when Sorey realizes that he'd just kissed Dezel's chin (that he'd just KISSED DEZEL even) he goes a bright, brilliant red.]

Oh my gosh, [he exclaims, back against the rails as he sinks into a crouch and pulls his cloak up over his head.] What am I doing! I'm so sorry!!

[sylphystia]

[Dezel makes a noise of surprise as he's suddenly yanked into a kiss that... completely misses his lips. It's over as fast as it began, though it leaves Dezel red-faced and stunned and Sorey curled up at his feet.

Did that really just happen? He touches his chin, silver eyes wide beneath his hair.]

... Hey. Sorey, it's-- it's fine.

[He drops to his knees and tries to tug the Shepherd's cloak back down.]

Come on, look at me. [He isn't going to take no for an answer. Sure, Sorey can look elsewhere and Dezel probably won't notice, but mostly, he's just trying to find the younger man's cheeks. It's cold up here so Dezel warms them with his palms, thumbs brushing at errant bits of brown hair.

Sorey is truly a wonderful, special human. Dezel owes him everything. They need to talk about this, that's for sure, but... for now, this is all right.

He isn't sure Sorey wants a proper peck on the lips so he settles for a kiss on the nose. Sorey is kind of a sap. He probably likes stupid little gestures like that.

Dezel does, too.]

[monolike]

[It takes some coaxing but finally Sorey looks at Dezel, still red-faced and bashful but at little comforted that Dezel didn't laugh or just run off. The hands on his face are a comfort too and Sorey reaches up to hang onto Dezel's wrists, heart up in his throat.

That kiss on the nose is...a little less comforting, but at least he's not telling him no, you read that wrong, I'm sorry. Heck, Sorey doesn't even know what he wants, if he just wants to be close to someone after being so long alone, if this is some...some sick compensation he's giving himself for not having Mikleo. No, it can't be that, Sorey was genuinely happy to see Dezel's face when he woke a few weeks ago.

Sorey pulls his own lip between his teeth and worries at it, closing his eyes before squeezing Dezel's wrists hopefully.] Is this...weird? Am I being weird?

[sylphystia]

No. [His voice is soft, yet his tone is still firm. He wouldn't lie to Sorey. Not about this. And really, Dezel isn't the type to flat out lie; he'd rather just be blunt or not say anything at all.] No, you're not.

[He gently takes Sorey's hands in his, warm despite the cold air around them.]

I just... [It isn't about the pain he'll eventually feel when Sorey passes. Rose and the others prepared him for that, at least. It isn't about humans and seraphim, or ages, or anything like that.] I don't want to take advantage of you. Because you just woke up, and... you're still grieving. Adjusting. [He can think of at least one person Sorey should be with instead, but the thing about seraphim is they understand life is transient; he's not going to be jealous of someone who was there all along.]

I don't want to force you into anything.

[monolike]

[There's a lot unsaid there, and it doesn't take a genius to see it. Sorey frowns, pulling Dezel's hands into his lap and holding onto them tight, concerned.]

You're worrying about Mikleo. Aren't you?

[sylphystia]

[He's surprised to hear that name dropped so openly, but now that it's there, well. Yeah. They have to talk about it.]

You're important to each other. I'm not gonna make assumptions about what that means.

[Neither of them have said no. It's a question yet unasked. For now, at least, Dezel is letting Sorey make his own decisions.]

If you want something, or you don't want something, or you just want to be casual-- that's fine. It doesn't really matter to me.

[That's the truth-- the wisdom gained by loving, and losing, a human life. He closes his eyes again.]

I'm fine just being here.

[monolike]

Dezel, I don't think I could have something casual with you in a million years, [Sorey laughs, pulling up his hands to kiss his knuckles on impulse. It makes him go red in the face but hey, they're already here, already talking about it.

And he should confront this. Before it gets worse.]

...I'm excited to meet up with Mikleo, but...I'm also scared. I don't know if he'll be the same Mikleo I remember. ...I don't know if he'll see me as the same Sorey. [He squeezes Dezel's hands tightly.] And I'm not saying that because I think you're- you're some kind of replacement for him; what's between us is separate from what's between me and Mikleo. I just...could... [Sorey bows his head.] ...I don't want to just have something with you and move on. It's selfish of me...I wish I could be with all of you guys again, forever, like we were supposed to be.

[sylphystia]

[Dezel has something of a mental keysmash moment as his knuckles are kissed. Usually he's the one to do that to-- ah. He's going to have to get used to that if he's with someone. The... embarrassment. The flashbacks. The reawakening of a piece of him he'd sealed off until, if ever, another person came into his life and cast a shadow over all that he was.

Sorey has always loomed so large in his mind's eye. Even now, laughing and smiling, he's still a Shepherd who supports the world.]

... Yeah. I think I get it.

[He's waited all this time. They all have. It's not surprising that they've all changed in their little ways. It's true that Mikleo's was very dramatic, but Mikleo lost half of himself when Sorey left. Even if it was inevitable. Dezel and Mikleo have a few things in common.]

It's not selfish. Those were... good memories. [He releases one of Sorey's hands so that he can take off the black hat he's worn for a millennium... and he drops it on the brunet's head lightly, playfully almost.] I've never really been able to let go, or maybe it's never let go of me.

But-- I'll tell you something. [He tilts the brim of the hat up so it's easier for Sorey to see.] This world is what we make of it. If you only think about the past, what'll happen to tomorrow?

[monolike]

[Sorey toys with the brim of Dezel's had as he mulls that over, squeezing their hands still clasped in his lap. It's true; dwelling on the past wouldn't just be terrible for his relationships with everyone from here on out, it'll be terrible for him, for his soul, for his heart. He would be depriving everyone of a future with him as well.

Letting go of the past feels like a betrayal to Rose and Alisha's memories, but even as he thinks that he knows that's not what they'd say at all. They would be right there, shoving him forward with everybody else, demanding he live a life as full and happy as theirs had been.]

...is this what you do now? Dispense useful life advice to confused Shepherds? [Sorey grins, swinging their hands a bit, paying attention to the way the wind brushes over his hair, his face, his arms like a second embrace.]

[sylphystia]

[Dezel is smiling, really smiling, and it seems like such things were few and far between, at least until Sorey got here.] Like a Prime Lord? Not gonna happen.

[The wind tugs a little at Sorey's hair. He looks like the hat is swallowing him up, honestly, but it's kind of cute all the same. Lafarga would have liked him.

Dezel leans in again, hoping to actually complete the kiss this time-- but he bonks his nose on the hat's brim as Sorey moves, and he makes an offended noise.]

Ah, hell.

[monolike]

[Sorey laughs, light and full, and removes Dezel's hat to rest that in his lap too.] That's what you get for trying to be all cool, [he teases, before shyly leaning in and tilting his head up for a real, proper kiss. His first one in one thousand and seventeen years.]

[sylphystia]

[It's the laughter that gets him. They can discuss things like mortality, like human impermanence, and Sorey understands. But he was raised around seraphim, keenly aware of his limited time. Maybe that's why...

He'll think about it later. Sorey looks so cute like that, all expectant and hopeful. Even a blind man can tell. Dezel obliges and this time he only hesitates a moment. Their lips touch properly, soft and sweet. The knot that coiled up tight inside his chest finally begins to loosen and it feels wonderful.

Sure, it's not the most romantic kiss in the world. It's rather chaste, really, and it's cold up here, and the angle isn't really right-- but for Dezel, there's no comparison. He's as free as the wind in his hair right now and completely, utterly elated for the first time in centuries.]

[monolike]

[There's something about the way Dezel's mouth is so soft, completely gentle but not entirely out of consideration. Sorey's eyes are closed so he doesn't know what Dezel's expression looks like but it's almost like he can feel it on the wind, an element that was a part of himself as surely as Dezel was a thousand years ago. It tickles over his hair, hesitant, unsure, joyous as it ruffles his clothes, lifts the feathers of his earrings to dance.

Sorey reaches up to cup Dezel's jaw, wanting that extra point of contact to really, truly confirm what's happening. It's true that Sorey's always regarded seraphim as beautiful and Dezel is no exception; just by appearance, smooth skin, soft lips, full eyes and long lashes but also in soul. Dezel has suffered, and even caused others to suffer but that was so long ago. Even when it wasn't Dezel's heart was still filled to the brim with care and concern and love, twisted by the crimes forced upon him, further soured by his own mistakes but Dezel's accepted those scars as part of himself and has built upon them a stronger muscle, beating hard enough for two, judging by the pulse against his fingers as Sorey slips his fingers down Dezel's neck to rest on his shoulder. This is such new territory, but it's so, so welcome. Sorey has always been and always will be an adventurer.

He wants to see where this path will take him.]

[sylphystia]

[Dezel is full to bursting. He's sure the wind is picking it up; he can feel his mirth leaking through the edges of his armor, surrounding them both and reminding Dezel that a part of him is not yet dead. He feels like the first time he flew, when he found the wind again after losing his sight and realized that the world was dark but no less colorful.

His half-gloved fingertips slip beneath Sorey's messy hair, callouses against his scalp, thumbs toying with his feathers. He isn't sure how he ended up so fortunate. He's bad luck incarnate, a cursed seraph. He's bad news. Yet, Sorey loves him unconditionally. Sorey saved his life and burned away all the darkness in his heart. Once he was thrust into the darkness, Dezel gave up hope of ever finding his way out.

But here, his view is full of light-- so much light. He doesn't feel worthy.

He loops his arms about Sorey's middle and holds him as close as he dares. The kiss gains a bit of pressure and insistence, at least until Dezel remembers that humans have to breathe. He breaks it with reluctance, his cheeks a dark red as a contrast to his silver-green eyes.]

I... [What can he even say?] I wouldn't mind doing that a little more.

[monolike]

[Dezel's half-gloved thumb brushing against the shell of his ear makes Sorey shiver. He's so nervous, worried that he's going to mess this up but at the same time...it's easy to accept this kind of intimacy when they've literally shared a body more times than Sorey can remember.

This is different though.

But then Dezel's arms go around him and he tugs Sorey closer, almost into his lap and Sorey makes a noise of surprise at the strength with which Dezel kisses him again. This is just as nervewracking and wonderful as their soft kisses before but now, as Dezel's hat rolls to the side, something else enters in and Sorey notices how solid Dezel's shoulders are, how warm he is this close, how sharp his teeth are at that barest hint of them behind his lips. Dezel kisses him with a sureness that Sorey just doesn't have and it's both intoxicating and a little bit terrifying, wondering if the way he's threading his fingers through Dezel's hair and hanging on the right way to do it, wondering if he tastes okay, if Dezel wants him to move his legs-

And then Dezel pulls back and Sorey gasps, right, because he has to breathe. He pants, face blooming bright red as he shakes just a little, heat spreading from his gut to his limbs, making the collar of his shirt stick to his neck. Dezel doesn't look much better and Sorey chews on his lips, hoping to taste Dezel on them again.

He's- he's thought about this a couple times but there was never time for it, never opportunity. It wasn't really a subject of discussion in Elysia but it's not like Sorey hasn't squirreled away a few of his "trashy romance smut books" as Mikleo enjoyed calling them, for when he was...curious, and alone.

With Dezel? Is he- Is he allowed, can he even do that with him?]

M-me too, [Sorey stammers shyly, though still clutching Dezel's hair tight, gently scratching his fingers against his scalp.] Um. Slowly, if that's- I've never done this before, so I'm probably not any good...

[sylphystia]

[It's hard to find words with Sorey still clutching at him, still acting like if he lets go of Dezel's hair, the wind seraph might fly away. It's nothing of the sort. Dezel said he would stay, and he intends to fulfill that promise. He's got all the time in the world, after all.]

It's not a contest or anything, [he says gently, as if he's teaching Sorey something mundane like how to chop a tomato rather than dealing with the mysteries of a new relationship.] Just go with what feels right. You find out what works and what doesn't.

[He runs his thumb across Sorey's cheeks again, marveling at the softness of his skin, the familiar angle of his jaw. Sorey has been asleep for a thousand years but he still maintains his youth. But even if he hadn't, Dezel would still find him handsome in his own right. Sorey's soul is beautiful, pristine and clear like the sky over the land he'd purified, and that's all Dezel knows.]

We can go as slow as you want. And if you want to stop, all you have to do is say so.

[His other hand rubs gently at the small of the former Shepherd's back. He hopes it's comforting.]

[monolike]

[It's kiiinda ticklish actually, and Sorey squirms a little. He at least relaxes his hands so they slip down to rest on Dezel's shoulders instead of remaining buried in his hair like they're about to have some wild sex or something.

BUT OH BOY! His face is so hot. Oooooh boy. Sorey laughs nervously because Dezel sounds so knowledgeable about this and he knows seraphim are beings outside of time but he doesn't think this is weird right? It's not weird is it? Sorey's technically over a thousand also, even if he wasn't awake for it. And Dezel totally flounders sometimes but he's not with this and this is ssssooooo so embarrassing.] U-uh...maybe...we can just hold hands? And enjoy the view for a little while?

[sylphystia]

[Dezel can tell even before Sorey says anything that he's getting flustered, so he eases up on the touches a bit. His smile is surprisingly tender as he shifts his hold to Sorey's hands, tugging them into a proper hold.]

Sounds good to me.

[He wasn't suggesting they go down below decks and start swabbing or anything. But it's true they probably shouldn't be learning each other's mouths when they are essentially in public. It's... kind of impolite, and people would certainly expect better from what they see as a Prime Lord and his Shepherd.]

Want to take a look around?

[monolike]

Yeah! [Oh what a relief. Not that he doesn't like kissing Dezel, he actually kind of likes it too much, but this is much more comfortable.

He takes Dezel's hand in his as they climb to their feet, heart pounding but in a good way this time. He's been wanting a closer look at all the mechanisms on the ship anyway.

As they amble their way across the ship, Sorey bugging Dezel or some of the crew about the more complicated aspects of the ship's buoy system, it really starts to sink in that this is something different. This is how he'd wanted to travel the world before, he and Mikleo together, exploring cities and ruins, adventuring across land and sea until they were satisfied. The incident in the church, meeting Lailah, had changed all that. It's not as if Sorey regrets becoming a Shepherd...but having a second chance at this is definitely a blessing he didn't expect to receive.

When they finish out their day of work, Sorey manages to find a merchant who will trade him a sheaf of paper and this little stick he insists is a pen for some of the old gald he has on his person. Sorey sits himself down on the bunk he and Dezel will be sharing in the passengers' barracks with his purchase, fiddling with the pen until he figures out how to work it.] The ink is inside? Amazing.

[sylphystia]

[Dezel quietly soaks in Sorey's happiness like a beam of sunshine. He's just so warm and curious and thankful for a second chance. Dezel had some reservations at first-- he always does-- but seeing Sorey like this, seeing him living and exploring like he wanted to do... It erases them all. Abandoning Sorey to Mikleo's responsibility or hell, even Lailah's, would've been terribly selfish.

He sits beside Sorey-- and look, he has a tray of food.]

Yeah, but you have to refill it now and then.

[monolike]

[Yessss, sustenance.

Sorey beams and sets aside the pen, reaching out to squeeze Dezel's hand after he pulls the tray into his lap.] That's still amazing! You wouldn't believe how many ink pots I've broken while exploring. If I could just carry a bunch of these, I'd never have to worry about it!

[sylphystia]

[He isn't really expecting the hand squeezing, but he squeezes back. All while avoiding eye contact, of course.]

I'd be careful if I were you. If you shake them around too much, they tend to leak. Violently.

[monolike]

Are you speaking from personal experience? [Dezel covered in ink from a leaky pen...]

[sylphystia]

[... and not realizing it because he's blind.]

I ran a package to Mikleo once.

[Oh no.]

He was furious.

[monolike]

[That makes Sorey burst out laughing. He can imagine the look that was on Mikleo's face, shoulders hitched up, fist raised and everything.] Let me guess, lemme guess what he said! [Fist on his hip, scrunched up face,] "Dezel, you wind stepped the whole way here, didn't you? I swear, you wind seraphim! Always have to rush!"