kickitover | (no subject)

[Dezel doesn't let go of Sorey immediately. He's having a hard time processing the determination in Sorey's voice. He can't see his expression like other people, but the wind tells him all he needs to know. His anger falters in the face of Sorey's conviction and his apologies, though, and it leaves Dezel with his head lowered and his grip trembling.]

You always were... too soft.

[He covers his face with his hand and leans against the wall. He can't believe everyone else is fine with this-- but no, he can. Dezel isn't going to stand in Sorey's way; that was never his intention. Life is unfair. He knows this more than anyone.

He just wants to make sure Sorey knows how much his sacrifice really means.]

[Dezel's quaking fingers slip from Sorey's cloak and he lifts a hand to follow, stops, clenches it at his side and gives Dezel a moment of space, chewing his lip. It doesn't seem fair, to get Dezel back like this only to have to immediately say goodbye. It isn't fair, but fairness doesn't really factor in for people like them.]

Sorry, [he says again, heartfelt and painful, raw and open.] I just...want a world that doesn't poison you guys anymore. I can't stand it. [It hurts, seeing the sadness and terror and hatred of humans tear into seraphim. Most of them are jaded to it by now but for Sorey, raised by the kindest beings he's ever known, to have found his precious family with them, only to see how their kind suffers day in and day out? How their kind has fallen to perpetuate that suffering?

Human beings being driven to madness and despair under the weight of their own impurities, with people like Rose and Alisha resorting to extremes in order to try and bring peace back to their kind-

What else can he do?]

I don't want to hear it. You say you're sorry, but you're not going to change your mind. What good is that?

[Sorey doesn't have to explain his side of things anymore. Dezel knows, logically, that it's the only thing Sorey can do. He just doesn't understand how Sorey can. It's not right to throw his life away. It's not--

-- but that's how it is. Nothing in this twisted world is ever fair. It should be Dezel's life, not Sorey's.]

What really gets me is that you don't have to do everything alone, yet here you are, trying to justify exactly that. Did you learn anything?

[He lowers his hand but he doesn't meet Sorey's eyes. His gaze is somewhere distant. Maybe behind his hat.]

... I'm going to take Mikleo's place in the final battle. That way the two of you can do this together.

If you do that, who'll take care of Rose?

[The thing is, he's not even trying to guilt Dezel. If he ends up having to use Siegfried, if he ends up being the one to kill his friends for the sake of saving the world and then goes to sleep for who knows how long, Rose will be alone. She'll have the Sparrowfeathers of course, but she'll have none of the seraphim she'd made friends with, she won't have someone who understands what it's like to have resonance, able to see the seraphim around them.

Besides that, if Rose loses Dezel again right after they'd gotten him back, out of some kind of...one-up contest they're both having to see who can sacrifice himself first, she'll never forgive them. She'll drag Sorey back from sleep and Dezel back from death just to hit them both.]

Hey, you said it. She's going to have a mess to deal with after this. Can't I ask you to support her, instead? [Like how it was before.]

[Ugh, god, he didn't ask for this. He knows Sorey is giving him that look. And he's right, again. Dezel should be there for Rose if he's able. Almost dying might have saved him once, but turning into a drake and then being purified, only to ditch her again? It's too much.]

Damn it. [He lets out a huff.] We're going in circles... This is pointless.

[Sorey is asking him a huge favor. After Sorey let him die as he wanted, isn't that what Dezel owes him? Doesn't Dezel owe him the same courtesy?]

... If you're so determined to do this, then channel some of that into coming back when it's over.

You got it. [Sorey might get smacked for this, but he claps a hand to Dezel's arm and squeezes anyway, relieved. Rose being left alone was one of his greatest fears about going into this if he ends up having to use Siegfried and all the others are...lost. She would have had to run on her own. But if Dezel is with her, she'll be just fine.

Dezel will keep her safe.]

You'll be at the top of my list of people to find when I wake up. Promise.

[Dezel doesn't shove him off. He knows Sorey is touchy, and while Dezel is a little more reticent, he's by no means averse to it when it's someone he knows. He sighs softly as he surrenders the argument, and to show it, he reaches up and places a hand on Sorey's.]

We'll be waiting.

[Maybe it's selfish of him, but at the end, with Heldalf half-keeled and with his own breath scraping his throat raw, Sorey is glad to have someone to shove Rose against when he breaks the platform. He's glad to see two faces instead of one as he falls, he's so glad that at least one of them made it out.

And when it's all over and he sees his friends, sees Mikleo escape Heldalf's grasp and float gently back out of harm's way, he thinks, Thank goodness. It's only me. Thank goodness everyone else is all right. Any doubt he'd had left vanishes, and he approaches Maotelus, accepts him wholly, and sleeps.

He doesn't dream.

He doesn't experience the passage of seasons or years, doesn't even feel the world purifying itself, the malevolence slowly being uprooted from the continent as Maotelus sleeps inside of him. He doesn't feel the shrine go up around the altar upon which he rests, and he doesn't feel it crumble centuries later. The light never dies though the pilgrimages taper off until only a few Shepherds and their companions come to pay their respects. Ivy crawls up the walls of his own ruins as the years tick past like seconds and still, sightlessly, soundlessly, he sleeps.

Until, one day, he doesn't.

Sorey wakes as if from a good night's rest. He blinks sleepily up at the ceiling above, collapsed and thatched and collapsed again across the centuries. His body doesn't want to move at first so he works slowly on twitching his fingers, sniffing hard and sneezing. Did he collect dust? No, probably not. Maybe it's allergy season.]

H-hello? [Sorey croaks. After a moment of fumbling he manages to slide down off the altar, half-collapsed on the broken stone and weeds surrounding it. It's probably been forever. Years, more than years by the look of the ruins. He doesn't remember much of this; there aren't any hew marks on the altar so it was probably made, probably by Edna, along with the rest of these ruins.] Softie, [Sorey snorts, pushing himself up on trembling legs. Is he still human? Well, he's not currently dead, at any rate. He probably is.

We'll be waiting.

Time to go.]

[The months pass into years into decades into centuries, and the world becomes a little different. Rolance and Hyland's peace turns into a complete unification, which they've experienced before, as is written deep in the dark crevices of the history books. A Shepherd quells the resulting malevolence.

A great library is built in Ladylake. It burns down when a country from across the sea invades and sacks the city. A Shepherd calms the small calamity, and the invaders become immigrants. There are more and more Shepherds now, and it becomes a reasonable goal for children to aspire to. Some live unfortunately short lives but all of them succeed at their job thanks to Lailah's guidance.

Children are born in a village outside Elysia, and they learn to see seraphim as Sorey did.

Mikleo writes like his last day will be tomorrow. Some of his books seem more like memoirs to Sorey, about their journey or about the events that have transpired since his sleep. Some are drier, more historical texts. There is one book he writes under a pseudonym, and only one, but it becomes wildly popular and inspires everything from paintings to plays to music.

It's a book of poetry.

Edna and Zaveid spend time together, but they part ways when it becomes clear that Zaveid no longer wants any part of a sub lord's burden. He's fine just lending Mikleo the support he needs. Sometimes they even go through ruins together, but it's not the same.

And Dezel--

He loves Rose completely, entirely, and they share that bond even when she is a retired Shepherd on her deathbed. Her last breath leaves her and Dezel is the one to take it. He carries it with him. He carries it after the mourners have gone. He takes it to Brad's grave, to Alisha's, to Sorey's altar. Then, unfettered by mortal bonds, he travels the world for a while with her wind in his ear. He never pledges his loyalty to another Shepherd, and he all but disappears from history entirely.

But he isn't gone. Even Dezel has grown to love the world that Rose and Sorey protected. While looking over the newest band of the Sparrowfeathers as they ride down the road, he feels a shift in the wind. It feels warm and familiar, and he isn't sure why. As he turns his head toward the pillar of light at the end of the world, a man with red hair asks, teasingly, why Dezel is making such a strange face.

He goes to check the ruins by himself and leaves Zaveid in his place. A few days' travel is made blissfully short when one can windstep, though it still takes a great number of hours. If Sorey has woken up, he might not remember anything. He might need Dezel there, who has forgotten more than he's ever remembered. He has no way of contacting the others while he's on the run, something that rapidly-advancing technology still hasn't addressed.

That's fine. It might not be anything, anyway.

Maotelus' altar is still as creepy as it ever was, though it's awash with light that he can feel. He steps on a stone and it wobbles, then crumbles into a massive abyss; Dezel decides to windstep across the bridge ahead rather than testing it.]

Someone here?

[Dezel looks much the same as he always has, minus the hat. Zaveid still hasn't given that back, and really, Dezel has accepted it. But his sight hasn't returned and maybe it never will. He's long forgotten what it was like to know the color of his own eyes or the plumage of a bird.

He's feeling a little nervous for some reason, so he calls out with more volume:]

Hey, kids, this isn't the kind of place you want to play around in! It's the sacred territory of the seraphim!

[Ugh. Maybe he'll make a run up to that village and see if any of the kids are missing again. This happens every century or so, and it looks like it's Dezel's turn to fish whoever fell into the ruins out of them.]

[Wind flutters gently toward him and ruffles his cloak; Sorey notices with some interest that it's clean and mended, instead of torn and dirtied and bloody from battle. Maotelus? Maybe just for appearances. Probably doesn't look great if the one purifying Glenwood looks like he just went ten rounds with a dragon.

...he's losing focus.

A voice rings through the ruins and Sorey can tell, by the reverberation of it, that it's clear and loud though the words come filtered through as if underwater. His brain still hasn't quite woken up, just like his body. Sorey still lays half-collapsed against the altar and when he tries to pull himself up again, his legs won't hold his weight. He thinks he's just tired. Tired from sleeping for a very, very long time.]

I-in here! [he calls, just in case someone is looking for him. An adventurer, maybe. Who else would walk into a bunch of crumbling ruins? Had the others let them fall into this state because they knew he'd get a kick out of it? Or...has it been so long that...]

[Someone calls back, but even the wind can only bring snippets. It tells him there is someone inside and they are injured or weak, but there isn't much of a description beyond that. No details. Could be a kid, could be a seraph, could be anyone.

Dezel grumbles to himself. He's starting to feel a little like Lafarga must have when he tugged Dezel out of trouble the fifth time.

He crosses another bridge with swift, light feet. He passes through decrepit passages from millennia ago, and some more recent ones. Edna's work. She keeps putting off going back to the altar, and Dezel thinks it might have something to do with her doubts about Sorey's return.

Dezel has a promise from Sorey, though, and he knows that seraphim promises are binding. Even if Sorey becomes a seraph and forgets it all, he might still be bound by that oath. That's what he's holding onto. Dezel's never had the unshakable faith that Mikleo had, but the comfort of a promise is better than nothing.

He ascends the stairs to the beautiful altar room that Edna constructed to protect Sorey, and he notices how it's overgrown with nature. Maybe this was her intent all along. Sunlight slants in from above, feeding the beautiful and very old tree that has made this place its home. Petals from its tiny orange flowers settle upon Sorey's hair and shoulders like specks of gold, like familiar feathers. The effect is lost on Dezel but he's aware of the petals as they skitter away from his wind.

It takes him a moment or two to register that Sorey isn't in his usual place upon the altar.]

S-- Sorey, [he gasps before he's even aware of it, and he zips to the former Shepherd's side. This could be a sick joke-- it could be, but he won't be sure until the boy says something. Until Dezel hears... something. Anything. Any sign that this isn't some kind of terrible joke. He's filled with a brief flash of righteous anger. If someone touched Sorey, even just to push him off the altar, Dezel will know. He will find them, and he'll make sure they never sleep peacefully again.]

Edited 2016-09-25 07:57 (UTC)

[Arms go around him and Sorey's senses catch up with him too late to place pale green hair, sharp teeth, dark clothes before he's being lifted back up onto the altar. Dezel? Dezel. It's him, it's Dezel, he promised to be waiting and now he's right here.

Sorey's fingers twitch against Dezel's sleeve before he grabs onto it with all the strength he can muster.]

This is-

[Sorey swallows against the rasp of his voice and looks up into the silvery shine of Dezel's unseeing eyes. He grins as wide and bright as possible when he feels the wind ruffle his hair and brush his cheek.]

-the coolest thing to wake up in.

[He has his own ruins.]

[Dezel feels a little thrill when Sorey's fingers clutch at his jacket. His heart leaps into his throat. For all the moving on he's had to do, he really hasn't moved on at all. He still carries a bit of Rose with him, and he still looks after her descendants. He still-- he still--

Sorey is smiling, he's smiling like he wasn't just dead for a thousand years, and all of Dezel's resolve crumbles. He sucks in a breath like a wince and falls to his knees right there, his arms slipping securely around Sorey in a real embrace, while he buries his face in the Shepherd's shoulder.

Of course he's happy about having his own ruins. Of course he is. Dezel is just happy to have him back. All of their human friends have become legends, and Sorey-- Sorey is a legend, too, but he came back. Ugh, god, he can't do this, he feels like he's going to cry. He hasn't cried in several centuries and he doesn't want to start now.]

You idiot, [he manages through a throat like a vice. He remembers Sorey pushing Rose into his arms and going to face Heldalf alone. That was all he had to go on for so many years.] You're such an idiot.

[His grip on Sorey's shirt tightens until his knuckles turn white beneath his gloves.]

Ahh, Dezel, c'mon, [Sorey says lightly, joy and happiness and warmth and belonging bubbling up into his voice, replacing the rust of disuse with something all-encompassing and happy. He'd thought he'd woken up alone. He was terrified that maybe he'd woken into a world his friends were no longer in; that even time had eventually claimed all of them, or that they hadn't actually made it away from the palace as it had collapsed. Dezel, at least, is alive, and if that's true then he knows Rose must have made it out as well.

That Dezel is clinging so tightly speaks volumes about how long he must've been gone, though. Probably- judging by the natural wear on the stone it's been at least a couple centuries, and that's assuming the ruins were never rebuilt or restored. Alisha and Rose, Sergei, all of his human friends...they're gone. They're generations gone.

They died without him.

Sorey can feel the strength slowly returning to his limbs and he manages to wrap an arm around Dezel's shoulders, burying a hand in his hair and closing his eyes as he taps his cheek against Dezel's head.]

Don't kick a guy when he's down. You get it? Because we're on the ground, so... [It's the weakest joke ever but give him a break, he's got the worst nap hangover. Sorrow keeps trying to climb up but he's so happy about not being alone it can't find a foothold. Dezel, Dezel, Dezel, who probably followed the wind's whisper all the way over to him, who always claimed not to care and to be using people to his own ends, was close enough to come investigate when he felt a disturbance. Dezel, who was given back to them after they thought he was dead. Who always looked after others without expecting a single word of thanks.]

[He wants to laugh at Sorey's stupid joke. It's been ages, literally ages since he made one, since Lailah told them stupid puns and made Dezel laugh during an otherwise bad situation. It's been so, so long. But Sorey is real. He's real, he smells exactly like Dezel remembers, he sounds the same. He feels the same right down to the embroidered cloak beneath his fingertips and the back that refuses to bow to injustice.

Sorey is here, and Dezel aches.

He sucks in a breath as he tries to laugh, but all that happens is the prelude to a sob. He'd locked up so many memories after Rose had passed. Sure, he continued living and sometimes he was even happy-- but it was nothing, nothing compared to the joy that was traveling with other seraphim and humans again. Even the Windriders, reborn as the Sparrowfeathers, couldn't replace...

He pulls back slightly, and he knows his eyes are damper than he'd like, but he grins through it. He hopes his hair hides the worst of it.]

You kept your promise after all. I guess I underestimated you, Shepherd.

That's right. ...wait, so that means you thought that lowly of me? [Sorey pouts in mock offense before reaching up to smooth Dezel's hair back from his face. Nice try hiding those tears buddy, but Sorey sees them, and that smile, too. It feels like he'd just seen Dezel moments ago, but at the same time Sorey could swear he hadn't seen him in entire lifetimes. He feels the weight of time between them like one of Edna's artes, the trembling of Dezel's arms around him, his fist around the back of Sorey's cloak. He really has been waiting all this time.

Seraphim...they're amazing. His friends are amazing.

Sorey drops his hand more out of respect for Dezel's privacy than anything else, though his arm is starting to shake. Seems like his strength isn't going to come back within a few hours after all.] Could I ask you a favor? I, uh, I might need some help standing up.

[Dezel isn't expecting the hand in his hair; it makes his light lashes flutter against Sorey's palm like the wings of a tiny bird, but the rest of him is motionless. He doesn't want to shove Sorey away though he knows, logically, he would be within his rights to. He feels like-- like he doesn't want to ruin the moment. If Dezel does something, anything wrong... he'll wake up, and Sorey will still be asleep, and he'll be alone all over again.

Then Sorey lowers his hand. Dezel breathes out shakily. He feels like his heart has been released from some grip he wasn't aware of.]

I'm not surprised. You haven't stood up for a while. [That's an understatement. He shifts his arms beneath Sorey's properly, bracing him.] Let's see if you can stand. One, two... three. [And he lifts his friend off the altar and tugs him forward. This way, Sorey can lean on Dezel's arms as much as he needs. And if he can't do it, if he can't stand, then--

-- then Dezel will just have to carry him out.]

[Forgive him for being such a Touchy-Feeleo, he's still not quite sure he's actually awake and in his own body. Especially since his body won't let him walk around, despite him walking around just fine minutes (ages??) ago.

Dezel counts and that helps; he can recognize how gentle Dezel's being with him as a comfort for both of them, so when his knees buckle and refuse to hold him up he tries not to be too embarrassed, clutching Dezel's arms, face burning.] ...guess that's a no-go.

[Dezel doesn't hesitate to catch him. He holds him up without complaint, just a soft grunt as he adds more support. Sorey's body really does need some work... Hopefully, Dezel can take him somewhere to recover.]

Here, I have an idea.

[He gently sets Sorey back down on the altar. It's okay to use it for a seat, right? Especially if he's been sleeping there. Ugh, whatever, details. Dezel turns around and drops to a crouch. Remember that one time with Rose?]

You're a little big for piggyback rides, but we don't have much of a choice.

[Sorey has a feeling that if he suggests Dezel just leave him here until he's recovered he'll get his behind kicked all the way to Gododdin, so he obediently slides his arms over Dezel's shoulders and tries not to feel too infantalized when Dezel hefts him up onto his back like he weighs nothing. They're not too different in size; Dezel is a scant handful of inches taller and a corresponding few pounds heavier, but he's strong and it shows.

Hopefully it's not too childish for him to hide his face against Dezel's shoulder. Mikleo's carried him before, there's no reason for this...]

Dezel, [he starts haltingly. It's the most obvious question he should've asked first that he hadn't, because he'd been half-afraid of the answer.] Are any of the others...?

[It's familiar, having someone's face shoved in his shoulder. He'd... carried Rose like this. More than a few times. She'd been asleep for all of that, of course, except for that first time when she was a kid. He blinks the memories away. He doesn't need to revisit them right now.

Instead, he tightens his grip on Sorey's feet and begins to march.]

A lot has changed. Us seraphim, though... we're all pretty much the same.

[It's gonna be a long hike out of here.]

Mikleo's off exploring ruins like this one. He still hasn't been able to write a complete history. Drives him crazy. Edna and Lailah are traveling with the current Shepherd. And... Zaveid...

[There's a trace of hesitation, but none of the anger that usually follows that name. A thousand years is a long time to hold a grudge-- even for Dezel. They've figured things out, now.]

He looks after the Sparrowfeathers, with me. He's probably wondering what the hell is taking so long.

[The sound of his boots echoes off columns and remaining bits of walls. It sounds lonely.]

When you're recovered, we can visit the others. [The humans, he means.]

[Dezel mentions Mikleo and it's like all the tension goes out of Sorey's body. It probably makes him a little heavier, and he's sorry for that, but...Mikleo, he's all right. And he's frustrated about not being able to write a comprehensive text, of course he is, that perfectionist...

Sorey can't stop the tears but he can at least keep himself from sobbing into Dezel's coat, concentrating on keeping his breathing even and not sniffing too loudly. Wouldn't want to worry him any more than he already is.

Lailah is still guiding Shepherds...it's surprising that Edna is with her, although maybe it isn't really, at all. And Zaveid and Dezel are traveling together? It's wonderful. Even if Alisha and Rose, and Sergei and the first Sparrowfeathers are gone, at least their memories continue to live on.]

Thank you, [Sorey whispers, not just for the ride, not just for finding him. For being here. For being alive.]

[Dezel doesn't complain when Sorey relaxes. The last thing Sorey needs is a goddamned heart attack right after waking up. Everyone's been waiting for him for so long. Dezel will make sure nothing can hurt him, just as they've all guarded his ruins for the past thousand years.]

Hey...

[He reaches blindly until he finds brown hair. Rather than a ruffle, he subtly strokes it.]

I didn't do anything. You saved me, remember?

[After Sorey disappeared from the world, Dezel had nightmares every time he closed his eyes. Sometimes he was a fully-grown dragon sowing chaos and despair across the countryside. Sometimes he attacked Lafarga, stealing his sight as revenge and then finally devouring him. Sometimes Lafarga turned into a dragon himself and exacted revenge on Dezel. It was terrifying, and he almost lost his way several times.

But in the end, he was always reminded of a gentle hand reaching out to him. A boy whispering his name in the cold dark.

"Dezel?"

Like he mattered.

"Dezel."

Like he belonged.

"Dezel!"

Like he loved.]

... You saved me.

[Sorey closes his eyes at the caress, clasping his hands loosely in front of Dezel's chest and resting his head against his hair. He hums a little in response, wanting to give himself time for the emotions to fully sink in. He can't answer Dezel's feelings in haste; they weigh too much, are too precious for Sorey to do anything but show him the utmost respect.

Dezel's changed.

So Sorey listens to the near-silent whisper of his bootfalls on the stone, listens to the way the wind curls around them like an old friend. Dezel, hundreds of years older, his heart pried open for Sorey to look into as he wishes, is nothing short of wonderful. No, Sorey definitely wouldn't find it strange at all if humans had begun to worship seraphim again. Not if all the seraphim are like his friends.]

Lukeim Yurlin, [Sorey murmurs, eyes still closed, allowing himself to listen to and feel the world around him, as Dezel does. It's soothing.] You already know how I feel about that.

[Saving Dezel was saving himself, too. He couldn't have lived with it, leaving him behind twice. And he hadn't agreed to take Dezel with them just because he was afraid he'd turn into a hellion otherwise, and feared for the safety of others.

He needed Dezel to be all right.

And Dezel has paid him back with that comfort, in spades.]

[Dezel isn't expecting any affection in return. That's not how Dezel works, and that's not how kindness works, either. He gives what he can give without asking for a damned thing, except for in the case of the pact... but that was so, so long ago. And it ended up being a different sort of situation, anyway. He lets Sorey's hair be after a minute and turns his attention back to hiking up these steps. They're in no hurry, so there's no need to tire either of them out.

But the former Shepherd murmurs Dezel's name, and he feels a shiver travel through him-- a joyous, instinctual thrill. It's paired with a soft gasp he doesn't even notice. No one has called him that name in a long, long time. It's a part of himself he let die with Rose... but when Sorey says it, he feels himself come alive.]

S-- Sorey, [he stammers, a bit less composed than he'd like. He might be blushing. He has forgotten what that's like, too.

God, he's embarrassed. Time to change the subject.]

So, when we're out you'll probably need a little while to recover. Elysia's probably the best place to go... It hasn't changed in centuries and it's close.